Raising Your Odds for Joy

24Apr08

Okay, so I’m doing Mike Mason’s challenge to “fast” from depression. (See the book Champagne for the Soul.) However, given my bent toward depression, I sometimes have to acknowledge the metaphorical rain clouds when they begin to roll in. Whenever depression starts crawling over me, I’m trying to learn to address it in a healthy way. Lots of people believe there is some magical cure that if you “just pray more” or “just hand it to God” or “just stop focusing inward” it will vanish, and you can get on with being happy. Many times, it isn’t so simple. For me, the depression symptoms are more like a matrix– there are several contributors and addressing each one can help. With deeper depression, a failure to pay attention to any one of these can end up dragging down the rest, so I sometimes have to tell myself, “Dark days are sometimes part of my brain chemistry, but they don’t have to dictate my experience and habits, and brain function is changeable over time.”
I’ve found some helpful questions to ask myself when trouble starts brewing in the mind. They address thoughts, actions, biological issues, social connection, and prayer.

How am I thinking?
What was the trigger that started these depressing thoughts?
Is there another way to look at it?
Do I think I am a victim? How can I help myself?
Have I assumed guilt over something that isn’t really mine?
Or am I thinking “doomsday” thoughts when I could possibly choose some other way to think?
Do I have expectations that are not being met? If so, what can I do about them?
Or are they unreasonable?

What am I doing?
Am I operating out of what I value most?
Am I being proactive about taking time for the things I enjoy?
Am I making plans for appropriate time with others and balancing that with time alone?
Have I honored my limitations and the limitations of others?

Am I taking care of the physical?
Have I given attention to rest, good nutrition, exercise, and medication if needed?

Am I connecting well?
Am I engaged with people?
Are my relationships authentic and mutually respectful?
Do I have a sense of shared connection with others?
Am I showing gratefulness?
Am I reaching out?
And am I truly caring for others or seeking something for myself?
Have I placed all my connection needs on one relationship?

Have I connected with God?
Have I trusted His acceptance?
Have I felt and expressed my gratitude to Him?
Have I listened to what He might say to me in His word?
Have I let myself experience His love and/or extend it to others?

After I look at my list, I always find ways to make improvements to my state of mind, and many times the improvement itself is a trigger of joy and a reminder that everything will be okay. In general, I think joy is not about anything we DO, but rather it is the ability let go of everything that threatens to steal our focus and simply savor life itself. Sometimes getting there requires an act of the will. No one said it would be easy, but with practice and commitment to building healthy habits in every domain, we don’t have to always be living in the storm.
Sting has a favorite and often repeated lyric incorporated into several of his songs, “It’s a big enough umbrella, but it’s always me that ends up getting wet.” Well, Sting, what if you bought a second umbrella so you wouldn’t have to feel that way? Just a thought! And if you decide to just go with the blues, check out despair.com. It keeps it all in perspective.

© Amyindallas, 2007-2008

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