Thanks for the laughs

09Oct07

These days, I’m enjoying some of the funny things my kids have said. My older kids seem to be submitting some of their best laugh lines at school. Here’s one of my 11-year-old son’s papers. The directions were “Write about a time you had to be brave.”
He writes: I had to be brave when I was trying to do a dive off the high dive. I knew if I over-rotated, I would land on my back. If I did not remember to tuck my head, then I would smack my face on the water. There were a lot of painful ways to mess up, but I was determined to do it right. No doubt about it, I was scared, but that wasn’t going to stop me. I went up to the diving board, took a furious leap off, then came down with a plop on my stomach. OUCH! Moral: Most four year olds can’t do anything off the high dive.

And then there’s my 15 year old. Her writing is A.D.D. rambling at its best. She says:
Writers block is so…so…well, I can’t think of the word for it. I suppose I have to write about something and so far, my name is the only thing on my paper, so I shall write about that. You know, I should have been given a different name by which to be called. A more entrancing name that would bring attention to myself and cause people to marvel at the enigmatic being that is…Katie the Bo. The name that was bestowed upon me by my parental advisors sounds more like a court jester than a majestic and brilliant creator of magical lands and pointless works of literature. Although this brings me distress, it is probably appropriate considering my high interest in the subject of humor. I am thankful that at least my name is not Keith; for that is a name for the male specimen. Things can always be worse.
Furthermore, my name may be appropriate for though the expanse of my mind is vast, the amount of knowledge which resides in the echoing chasms that is my brain is very small in number. Therefore, when I am asked enigmatic questions or presented with difficult situations, it may take time for the data to process and give me a good response. This explains why comeback jokes are not one of my fields of expertise. But I will theorize on the riddle of life. What is this riddle of life of which I speak? It is quite simple! In fact, it is so simple that it seems to have slipped my mind at the moment. Until my memory banks reach into their deposits and pull out the interest they owe me, I will have to continue writing so that I can further promote the impression that I am an undiscovered genius, when I am really faking my confidence and intelligence. But even with these trials, we must pursue moving confidently along the conveyor belt of life, never looking back with distress thinking, “My what a fool I was,” but instead moving along with boldness, being as much of a blundering idiot as we please. This is the philosophy by which I live my everyday life.”
So that’s what comes from writers block for her. I think it is a good philosphy for this blog. I vow not to look back and think with distress at what a fool I am today. I know I am one for the better part of every day! God knows that too. He loves me when I am a blundering idiot, and I’m finally realizing how much I am one every single day! Most four year olds can’t do anything off the high dive. Most forty year olds can’t get it all figured out either, no matter how hard they try. But, we can embrace life and live it to the full.
© AmyinDallas, 2007-2008

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Tags: attention deficit disorder, funny, kids